Halloween and Such

Today is Halloween. All week long I have been getting the question "What are you going to be for halloween?" My answer...Myself. I'm not one of those people that dresses up and plans for months in advance what I am going to be. I stopped trick-or-treating when I was 10ish and have only dressed up once because my friends and I were throwing a halloween party and the three of us went in 80's garb. I've just never been into the holiday. I will go to Halloween parties and hand out candy and take part in the festivities but I won't dress up and I won't decorate my house. It's just not that exciting for me. Perhaps when I have kids I might find somewhere inside me that the Halloween spirit is hiding, but I doubt it. I already told Brandon that when we have kids he is probably going to be the one that gets all excited with them, I will be the one that has them dump out their candy on the floor for me to inspect. 


This past Friday at work we hosted a Fall Dance for all the kids. We had two separate dances, one for the 9-12 year olds and one for the 13-18 year olds. Before the dances began we had a theory that the 9-12 year olds were going to just stand around in groups because they wouldn't know what to do. The 13-18 year olds were going to be the ones we had to worry about and keep a close eye on. Turns out once the 9-12 dance started the kids really surprised us. They were so into it. All of them were dancing and enjoying themselves. Then their dance finished and the 13-18 started. There was a good turn out for their age group but all of them sat in the corner of the gym for the entire two hours. Not a single one got up to dance. I think a bunch of them were hoping we would turn on the lights and let them play basketball. Nope not a chance, we let them sit there the entire time. 


Since none of them were dancing there was no need for all of us adults to stand around and do nothing so the boys and I went into the back room and played ping pong. I love ping pong. The boys started to show me how to put spin on the ball and how to return it. I played tennis in high school and I know how to put spin on a tennis ball but when you go from a big racket to a small paddle and a big court to a small table its a little difficult. I'm gonna get it, it may take awhile but I will succeed. 


This week I also purchased Brandon and I's tickets to San Diego! We are going for a week vacation in the middle of December. I am so Excited, we got an amazing deal on them. Most people wouldn't realize this but when you live in Alaska, sometimes it starts to feel like you live on an island. You go stir crazy and feel the need to get out. I'm ready to get out. It is so cold here. The only problem with the cold is that so far it hasn't produced snow. If it is going to be so cold we should have snow to go with it. What's with the states getting snow before we do. We never even hit 80* this summer and we have been in the 30's for quite some time now it just doesn't seem fair that they get the warm summers and the snow before we do. It wont be long till we have TONS of snow and I'm gonna be sick of it. But until then I want it to snow!

Shock of the morning

This is what the boys decide to do to my desk when I leave at night.

They taped a bunch of polaroid pictures to my chair

They also put Band-aids on my computer screen that wont come off. These are the remaining parts that I am still scraping off.

A nice little note saying hello

And they hot glued all my pens to the desk.

This doesn't even count the spray glue they sprayed everything with over the past week that still won't come of anything. My desk is awful right now.

I Love This Guy

I Love my Husband so so so much. Last night he text me some things he loved about me. Here is the list:

I love your silly dance moves

I love when you wake me up after you have a nightmare, just to make you feel better

I love that you buy me clothes you think I'll look good in

I love that you call me hub

I love that you don't get mad at my messy-ness/ lack of organization

He is so great! I love when he tells me things like that. He makes me feel good inside.

Can't wait till he comes back in two weeks!

I LOVE THIS!

I work with the public. Some people can be so rude sometimes. Sometimes I am even rude to others. Every one can get so caught up in their own lives these days that we don't even realize the effect our attitude plays on others lives. It's all about me me me, and I want to change that in my life.


I was blog surfing today and came across this blog Kind over Matter. How amazing these two women are and the things they write. They instantly cheered up my day just by reading a couple of their posts. I saw this website they have posted for the string ring. I am ordering one of these. Not only is it totally my style but I really think that as I wear it I will be reminded of the good things each string color means and I will make a solid effort to make a difference in my life each day. I love it!


Also if you want another good smile go look at Blaine Hogan, So Great!


I love blog surfing.

Work

Whoa, I have been filling in at Part Day and hourly Child care this past week and a half while their Admin and Manager are on leave. I now remember why I never want to be the one to take care of the children. Don’t get me wrong I want children just one at a time, Not 4 infants all screaming at the same time. Just today we have had infants crying non-stop, a little girl came into the office sick and threw up in a trash can about 3 times in 10 minutes. This is all too much to handle, just glad I’m not a caregiver.  They must have big hearts or something.

Yes I am complaining again.

I feel like I complain a lot. When I think about my personality and how I interact with people in real life I don’t feel like I whine a whole lot. But whenever I get on to write a new blog post I feel like maybe, just maybe I am allowed to. It’s my place to tell my story. I can get my feeling out when I write them down. So I am going to complain.

B came home and he hasn’t even been back for a week and they are already sending him away again. He leaves for 20 days tomorrow to go sit in some room and do nothing while everyone else is training. LAME. Someone even told the major that they didn’t even need Brandon to be there. I absolutely dislike this Major. I think he is out to prove something and everything has to be taken out on my husband.

Brandon told me today he is starting to hate the Army. Huh, I wonder why? Maybe because they won’t give him any platoon time. He is up for promotion in December so early next year he starts to wear Captain Rank and he has no platoon time whatsoever in his career. Nice. There are at least two other dudes in the unit that also don’t have the tab and they both have platoons and aren’t being used as an example for all the others out there that think it is ok not to have the tab.

So basically he came home sick, something is wrong and he is being punished for it. He is sitting in an office doing nothing. No one will even put him in a job. He sits there every day, doing nothing. I would be depressed too.

He went to the Doctor this morning, his blood tests came back negative, and so they are referring him to Neurology, EKG, and Ear Nose and Throat. Hopefully someone can find something wrong with him so that we can fix it. But now that he leaves for 20 days let’s hope they can get him in soon after he gets back.

See ya in 20 days hub, I’ll miss you.

Things I Miss

I had the day off today, I did nothing but sit around and do nothing. It was a day to think about a lot of things. All day I have been reminded of some things that I miss. 


1. I miss My Husband. I love him more than anything in this world, he is truly my best friend and the reason I live each day. We make so many sacrifices for each other to live the life we do but in the end I wouldn't trade anything. Each day he is apart from me is another day I am reminded about why I married him. I love him more and more each and every day, he is my hero and my life.


2. I miss my siblings; Julie, Suzanne, Earl, Adam, Amber, and Ryan. Each and every one of them have a special place in my heart. I hope each of them realize that I would do anything for any of them.


3. I miss Albuquerque in the fall. This is the best time of the year to be in Albuquerque. Not only is the weather perfect, not too hot and not too cold but there is so much to do. I love the state fair and going and seeing all the crazies that come out to play. I miss going to the Balloon Fiesta in the early early morning and seeing a spectacular sight. I miss having the question red or green being asked when you are at any mexican restaurant. I miss breakfast burritos with real authentic green chile in them. Everything about the place is amazing.


4. I miss Jackie, she is such an amazing friend. I miss being able to see her each day. I miss doing nothing with her. I miss people hating us because we are so cool, ha ha. I miss you Jax, one day we will be back to where we once were, only we will be toting around a couple kids by then.


5. And lastly, I miss my parents. Everything that they sacrificed for me growing up is beyond anything I could ever say to show them how much I am thankful. They raised me with good values, in an amazing church, and gave me the gift of knowledge by putting me through school. They were there for me through the hardest times in my life and I know there is nothing I could do to stop them from continuing to give. You both are amazing!

The Truth

I guess it is time to fess up, time to tell what is going on. The truth is Brandon is coming home. Ever since he started Ranger school again he has been sick. He tried and tried to push through and forget about it but it has gotten to the point where he can't ignore it anymore. He feels like he is gonna go down all the time and is so paranoid about it that he feels like he needs to fix what is wrong. He saw the medics for like the 6th time and they told him once again they couldn't find anything wrong with him. He asked for their honest opinion about what he should do. They told him there was no way of him getting the tests he needed in order to find out what was wrong. They said it was up to him. Brandon felt that his health is more important than finishing this school and making things worse. He had the opportunity to recycle again or to quit. He chose the latter. It was the hardest decision of his life. We now have to face the consequences of that decision. 


So he comes home this week sometime. He has already been told that they are probably kicking him out of the unit. The one place he worked so hard to prove himself, and all they care about is that stupid tab. Its not the end all be all. I'm sorry. I am so pissed about this because i feel they are setting such a double standard. Lets see two dudes who also went to ranger school from the same unit both failed parts of the PT test. They both chose to stay and recycle the first time, when it came time to start again both failed the PT test again. They choose not to recycle again but to return home without the tab. Now I'm sure they got yelled at and got a lot of slack for their decisions but did they get kicked out of the unit? nope, not even. They went back to running their platoons and getting on with business. Now Brandon on the other hand was given multiple opportunities to get medically dropped from the course but every time he chose to stay. He went through hell trying to ignore this sickness, but in the end it caught up to him and at a point where he was not given the option to medically drop. He chose to quit. But what does he get to come home to? A bunch of idiots who think that continuing to the point of health risks is no big deal. They think he should have fought through the pain. Now he is getting punished by getting forced out of the unit. I get that this is the Army and there is a standard they have to keep. They want the best of the best. The point I'm trying to make is this is not a Ranger battalion, its Airborne. I could go on and on about how unfair it is, but the thing I keep reminding myself is that we can't control the situation. It is what it is, we are just along for the ride. 


I keep asking myself why is this happening, did we do something wrong? But then I remember the words of a good friend, "When you get to that point where it is make or break for your faith, if you keep pushing on, that's what enduring to the end is all about. Enduring doesn't mean thriving, but it does mean surviving." By the way Friend, THANKS, you really made me step back and realize that in the end it means surviving. We will survive this, of course we will. I sometimes think my husband is stronger than me but in the end we always work together, that's why we are married, we help get each other through the hard times, now it is my time to show him how strong I can be for him...wish me luck!

Hmm...

You know how some people have things really easy? Thats not me and my family. Then you know how others have things really hard? Thats not us either.

We have a normal life. Things come easy, and some things come really hard. Well, recently something really bad has happened that could affect the rest of our lives. You pray and pray for the right answer and the right choice to make but don't feel you are making the right decision either way. Which is it? Sometimes I wish I could know the outcome of the situation before the decision is made, but alas we cannot.

Yesterday I tried fasting. Multiple times thoughout the day I thought why am I doing this, it is not doing anything, I dont feel any better. But when it came time to end my fast i realised that I had a little more faith in what was going to happen than I did to begin with. I guess I just have to trust that once the decision is made that we will be able to face the consequences and that in the end our life will still be intact. Heres hoping.

Music

Isn't it interesting that when someone you are with all the time has music that your not so into, then when they leave you find yourself listening to their music all the time? My husband listens to some hard stuff. I never really preferred it but when we we're in the car he would ALWAYS control the radio channel. I would try to change it but would always end up losing. Now that he is gone I find that the radio is always on his channel. I am actually singing along to a majority of the songs now. I am starting to really enjoy what I am listening to. Now i find that when I leave in the morining and I go to grab my ipod which sits on the base right next to my husbands i pause for a second and consider which one to grab. I ususally end up grabbing his now. My poor Ipod thinks I have turned my back on it.

Miss you Hub!